Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
