guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
