I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
