I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
third nipple confirmed
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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