And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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