How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
