90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
