talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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