Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
