I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Come on in and take your pants off
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