Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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