Kiss
Puke
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The feeling are messing with the penis
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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