do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
