Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Randomize
