i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
