Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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