Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
two words: eviction party
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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