ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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