And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
