kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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