what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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