I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
