sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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