Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
