I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
