I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
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