Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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