why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
