I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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