She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
