brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
