Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize