Why are handjobs necessary in class?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
