..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
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