let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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