let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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