Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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