quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
