Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
