I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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