So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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