I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
