Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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