I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
