Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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