who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
