Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
