I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You left your phone here
Wait...
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