Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
