So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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