you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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