I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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