thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize