It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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