So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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