I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
