What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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