it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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