butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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