We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
