Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
