The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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